Why The Hell is Every Yoga Teacher Running a Retreat and 5 Things to Ask Yourself Before You Sign in For One

By April 25, 2018 2 Comments

One day they got me. With a sentence “This retreat gets sold out every time and we have long waiting list for it so you better sign in now.” I believed them. Slid my credit card, flew far away, invested my hardcore savings and ended up frustrated, angry and hating every person that mentioned sacred or femininity for another 3 months. While vomiting in the middle of that jungle I promised myself to run the best retreats and to never let any of my guests have a shitty experience as I did.

So here’s a list of questions every smart woman will ask herself before believing complete strangers on the internet selling a retreat/course/training:

1. What do I want out of this retreat and is there a clear plan that’s promising me a way to reach that? Do they use esoteric and airy words describing their teaching plan or do they have solid goals listed down?

2. Do I want luxury or do I want to share the room with another 4 people?

3. Who are these people and do they have a sense of hospitality? How does their voice sound? Do they feel authentic to me?

4. Who cleans the floor? Seriously, who cleans the floor? Are they going to use the “Bhakti yoga excuse” or sentence like “ This is part of the learning, you learn so much about yourself cleaning this room where we sweat.” Do I want this or would I rather stab them with the broom?

5. Are they giving me an official invoice or just asking me to pay them on their personal account?

Yup, above questions are based on real-life events. Teachers didn’t present official invoice, had no idea about basic hospitality, I didn’t like their sound and attitude and before becoming deeply violent I declined the broom.


Since then I became the detective for clues on how to run best retreats, so I am inviting you to join mine. It probably won’t sell out and I would never put you on a waiting list.

Read about Yoga & Spa Retreat in Greece HERE. 

In the next 7 weeks, I’ll share with you guided meditations and practices so you can get the taste of the retreat themes, goals and topics. If you don’t like the sound of my voice, please DO NOT come for this retreat. But if you feel a HELL YES inside your belly, come. You have my promise that this will be a retreat you’ll tell your granddaughters about.

Registration opens soon. Sign in HERE. 

Now your turn. Ever had a bad retreat experience? Share in the comments below 1 thing that totally pis*ed you off so we can all learn and end bad retreats forever.  


  • Laura says:

    Never been to one, but would like to go when time&money allows 🙂 Can’t wait for your guided meditations and practices ! Cheers from me & Izabela 🙂

    • Sandra Laznik says:

      Laura & Izabela, thank you for your thoughts. Guided practices and meditations are on the way. Stay tuned. Much love.